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How Love Heals
By Jan Sheehan
It’s 2025. At your routine physical, the doctor takes your blood pressure,
checks your cholesterol level, and asks a standard health question: How’s your
love life? Sound too personal? In the future, it may be common sense. It seems
that some of the best medicine for good health doesn’t come in a pill. It comes
from love. “When we have love in our lives, we get sick less frequently and
recover more quickly from illness,” says Steven Dubovsky, M.D., professor of
psychiatry and internal medicine at the University of Colorado Health Sciences
Center in Denver. “Just as we require food and water, we need affection to be
healthy human beings."
Just how does love get
into the body and influence biological processes? Because research in the
field is very new, doctors admit they don’t yet have all the answers. One thing
is clear, however. While love is undoubtedly the granddaddy of all emotions, it
is a physical wonder as well, resulting in concrete metabolic and biochemical
changes. And many of these changes have health-boosting benefits.
Just about
any kind of deep devotion and caring will
do. From the heady high of a new romance
to spending time with treasured friends and family members, here are the newest
findings about how this crazy thing called love can help keep the doctor away.
New
Love Buzz
Remember when you first fell head-over-heels in love? You felt high
as a kite and full of energy. That super-energized wellness state wasn’t your
imagination. “When we’re attracted to someone, chemicals are released in the
brain that work very much like amphetamines,” says Anthony Walsh, Ph.D., a
psychobiologist at Boise State University and author of The Science of Love.
“New lovers have this constant euphoria and loads of energy.”
Scientists are beginning to understand why. Researchers have
discovered that three neurotransmitters - dopamine, norepinephrine and
phenylethylamine – are released during the excitement phase of falling in love.
This cocktail of brain chemicals makes us feel slightly buzzed, as if we’ve just
finished an aerobic exercise session. Some scientists believe that these
amphetaminelike substances may rev up the immune system just exercise does.
For Kerry Groody of Charlotte, North Carolina, that go-go love buzz kicked in
soon after meeting her husband-to-be Timothy. “I was just crazy in love and
really happy,” says Groody, 34. “I felt pumped up all the time.” Because Timothy
worked long hours as a restaurant chef and Kerry was carrying a full load of
college classes at the time, the couple often sacrificed sleep to spend time
together. “But we never had colds or any illnesses,” she marvels.
Even if the lovebirds had come down with a case of the sniffles, odds are
that they wouldn’t have noticed. In addition to increasing energy and feelings
of well-being, Cupid’s elixirs appear to diminish physical suffering. “That’s
why they’re called pleasure chemicals,” notes James Fallon, Ph.D., professor of
anatomy and neurobiology at the University of California in Irvine. “We think
these neurotransmitters may help lessen the discomfort of minor ailments.” In
other words, new lovers under the spell of heart-pounding infatuation may be
feeling too good to feel bad.
Newlywed Natural Health
Thankfully, love’s vigorous benefits don’t drop off once we
exchange wedding vows. The first stage of marital bliss also appears to promote
good health, especially when affection is expressed openly and often. In one
Ohio State study, the immune function of 90 newlywed couples was measured via
blood sample analyses. Those who acted most loving toward each other had
unusually high levels of disease-fighting antibodies and killer T-cells, which
knock out invading viruses. The possible explanation: “Acting in a loving way
actually strengthens love itself, which helps the body’s metabolism and
chemistry,” explains Barry Martin, Ph.D., a molecular biologist and professor of
science at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California. “Saying tender
words, buying flowers, or sending your mate a sentimental card has been shown to
lower blood pressure and improve immune function.” And during the newlywed
state, when love and lust are presumably at their peak, such health-enhancing
romantic gestures are all but automatic.
Long-Term Marriage Medicine
The giddy, ultra-passionate phase of love doesn’t go on
forever, though. (If it did, we’d all die of exhaustion.) The most intense
period of Cupid’s chemistry typically lasts between 18 months and three years.
Then spouses move into the next stage – attachment: feeling relaxed and at ease
in each other’s company. There’s evidence that at this point, a second chemical
system takes over. “We know that calming endorphins and oxytocin, a hormone
produced by the pituitary gland, are associated with attachment,” says Fallon.
“These substances appear to reduce stress and improve cardiovascular health.”
Twenty years ago, oxytocin was thought to be a female hormone useful only
as a trigger for labor contractions and to induce breast milk (thus bonding
mother and baby), but scientists now believe both men and women produce it.
“Simply cuddling, caressing or holding hands causes oxytocin to go up in men and
women,” says Dr. Fallon. It’s that warm, fuzzy sensation you get in the presence
of a loving spouse.” Though different from the thrills and chills of early love,
this feeling can bring a different kind of happiness. Just ask Pam Rasmussen,
44, of Wrightstown, Pennsylvania. The vice president of a pharmaceutical company
recently celebrated her 16th wedding anniversary. “To be honest, I
prefer the tranquil, comfortable sense you get after marriage settles in,” she
says. “It’s not that passion disappears, but it does change. And I think the
calmer, steadier kind of love is actually healthier in the long run.”
Research bears that out. Studies show that married cancer patients live
longer than those who are single, and heart patients with loving, supportive
spouses surpass average survival rates. Plus, marriage may keep maladies from
striking in the first place. Studies by the National Center for Health
Statistics show that coupled people spend fewer days per year sick in bed and
are less likely to have health problems that limit their activities than single,
widowed or divorced people.
Parental Protection
Even notice how holding
your baby or watching your child play immediately brings on a sense of calm?
Such simple parenthood pleasures help reduce levels of stress hormones, which
can protect us from disease, says Alan Elkin, Ph.D., director of the Stress
Management Counseling Center in New York City and author of Stress Management
for Dummies. Pictures or other reminders of your family can also act as mini
stress buffers, he adds.
“What works wonders
for me is listening to phone messages from my children when I’m having a
particularly hectic day,” says Stacy Phillips, 43, a Los Angeles attorney and
mother of two. “Hearing my daughter say, ‘I love you, Mommy’ puts all the
pressures of my workday into perspective.” Parental love seems to be powerful
preventive medicine for children, too. Harvard researchers found that kids who
receive frequent hugs, kisses and loving words from parents are more likely to
be healthy in adulthood.
Friends Wellness Formula
Friendships are another secret to living long and well. Like
guardian angels, friends appear to protect our health. “The entire body of
literature on social support and health shows that people with friends feel
better and live longer,” says Dr. Dubovsky. Not only will friends help you live
to a hearty, old age, you’re less likely to suffer from that most irritating of
medical woes: the common cold. A study published in the Journal of the
American Medical Association found that healthy adults with six or more
social relationships – friends, neighbors, co-workers – had less risk of
becoming sick when dosed with a cold virus than those with three or fewer chums.
Other studies have found less stress and depression among people with true-blue
buddies.
That’s hardly news to Amelia Yaussy, 44, of Columbus, Ohio. She credits
three lifelong friends with keeping her spirits up after she was diagnosed with
scleroderma, a connective tissue disease. I’d be in much worse shape if it
weren’t for their emotional support,” she says. “They’re like sisters to me. I
don’t know what I would do without their love.”
Rover Rx
Of course, there’s no more devoted friend than a beloved pet. So it’s
not surprising that furry companions also help our health. Numerous studies show
that pet owners have lower blood pressure, cholesterol levels and stress than
people without pets. One study conducted at the University of New York at
Buffalo found that stockbrokers with high blood pressure improved so
dramatically after adopting a pet that many of them were able to go off their
hypertension medicines. Cathie Beck, 46, is certainly sold on the health
benefits of pet ownership. She welcomed Lu-Lu, a yellow Labrador, into her
Denver home four years ago. “I’ve never really been a pet person,” she admits.
“Lu-Lu is the first dog I’ve ever owned. But I have to admit that I’m in better
physical and emotional health than I’ve ever been. And I think this animal is
part of the reason.”
Why do pets improve our well-being so dramatically? Part of it is stress
reduction brought on by the tactile effect of simply stroking an animal. But
there is more to it. Besides soft cuddles, pets value us unconditionally.
“There’s no hidden agenda with pets,” observes Marty Becker, D.V.M., author of
The Healing Power of Pets. “No matter your economic status, race or
religion, your dog runs to greet you like you’re a rock star. It’s pure love.”
And increasingly, that’s just what the doctor ordered for a lifetime of good
health.
6 Ways to Boost Love’s Benefits
[sidebar]
Try these tips to get
the optimum wellness rewards from your relationships.
1.
Get touchy-feely. Hugging, cuddling or holding hands
lowers stress hormones and elevates oxytocin, a hormone that appears to improve
cardiovascular health.
2.
Make each day Valentine’s
Day. Don’t wait for a holiday,
birthday or anniversary to offer gifts of love. Giving romantic cards, flowers
or heartfelt presents, as well as saying words of endearment, positively impacts
the body’s metabolism.
3.
Seal it with a kiss. Planting a kiss on your sweetheart, child or even close friend
awakens nerve endings and releases health-boosting oxytocin.
4.
Resolve conflicts with kindness.
It’s human nature for us to occasionally argue with people we love.
But hostile spats can cause blood pressure and heart rates to soar. Discuss
problems calmly. If things begin to heat up, say something nice. You’ll be
amazed at how soon would-be fights fizzle and a feeling of relaxation returns.
5.
Take part in child’s play.
Pitching in with the school play or peewee soccer team helps you feel
closer to your child and expands your social network. Children are a wonderful
ticket to meeting new people, which benefits psychological health.
6.
Pet your pooch.
Stroking and talking to animals has a calming effect on the body. Studies
show that pet owners have lower blood pressure, stress and cholesterol levels.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
[sidebar]
Just as love heals, the
absence of love hurts. “The loss of a significant relationship causes
neurochemical changes in the brain that can have a negative impact on health,
including profound depression and weakened immunity,” says James Olds, Ph.D., a
Krasnow University professor of neuroscience at George Mason University in
Fairfax, Virginia. Some research shows that divorce or death of a marriage
partner may also lead to elevated blood pressure and glucose levels, increasing
the risk of stroke, heart attacks and diabetes. And men who lose a spouse, in
particular, are more likely to die in the first year of being a widower than
single or married men. There’s also plenty of evidence that women suffer
physically and psychologically. “They may not die, but loss of love also
increases the risk of getting sick in some way for women,” says Dr. Olds. In
fact, one study found that divorced men and women were both six times more
likely to come down with pneumonia than their happily married counterparts.
So is it better to
never give your heart to another? Hardly. The benefits of caring connections far
outweigh the risks. With love, as with life, there are no guarantees. “Remaining
alone and isolated is the worst thing you can do for your health,” says Dr.
Dubovsky. In other words, you’re better off falling for someone who’s going to
break your heart than never taking a chance on love at all. Indeed, Tennyson may
have said it best: “`Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved
at all.”
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